Patterns of Conversion

Thirst for experience and the purpose of this class….

The search for the infinite and the thirst for experience directly relates to Alice and our college experiences.. When Alice takes a bite of the mushroom, she is curisous to know what will happen to her if she takes another bite of the other side—this constant search for experience and knowledge is the quintessential college experience. We are constantly biting new mushrooms, trying new classes, going to different rallies, etc to find out what our place is exactly or to figure out who we are. Like Tennyson, we participate in these outside experiences sometimes to cover up our pain. “the solution to a deeply personal problem was endemic to much verse.” (593)—we often join causes to distract us from problems. I know that when something is wrong with me, I choose to dive into a new project or book to take my mind off of the subject at hand. I agree with Browining when he says, “the fulfillement of desire meant spirtual death, for it removed the hhigh remote ideal that had giben motive power to the soul” (593). We can never be truly satisfied with how much we know, and when our desire for knowledge dries up, we are basically dead because if you aren’t learning anything new, what are you doing. This class is one where you are constantly thinking about what is next, what is behind you and what you are currently reading. I have yet to fully understand a text, and I am constantly going back to previous reading, and looking forward to what we will be reading about next to see what can be applied.

This class is also about getting over your fears—whether they be speaking in public, time management, computers, etc. There is like this thin film of fear that surrounds the class—you don’t want to be called on and not know the answer, or stutter or say something stupid, so you are forced to stay on task and keep up with your reading. Most classes should have this type of structure, but few do because the teachers lack authority.
]" width="400" height="326">]" />
When I read what Carlyle said about happiness in The Patterns of Conversion, “the source of a man’s blessed Unhappiness in the permanent desire for the Infinite which could never be quite submerged in the depths of the Finite” (594) I couldn’t help but think of Jude’s constant search for happiness in others. His unhappiness was derived out of the fact that he looked for happiness through other people—happiness must be found within yourself, or it will be a failure. If an artist/person is constantly looking for happiness and perfection in others, than they will fail, and to truly succeed and be happy, Ruskin says, “the demand for perfection, for the perfect finish, rather than the lovely for, was always a sign of the misunderstanding of the ends of art; for the great artist never stopped working till he had reached his point of failure.” (594). If you are going to fail, fail because you worked until you know you can’t anytmore, because “imperfection was [is] in some sort essential to all we know of life” (594).

]" width="400" height="326">]" />